How to Keep Conflict from Poisoning Your Team
Tension is everywhere right now — economic uncertainty, rapid technological change, and instability on the geopolitical stage.
And in coaching conversations? I keep seeing one pattern repeat:
Conflict at the top.
I recently worked with two senior executives — the Chief Technology Officer and the Chief Revenue Officer — locked in a months-long standoff over who would own the company’s AI strategy.
On the surface? Everything looked fine.
But underneath, product and sales ops teams were stuck — unsure whose direction to follow and worried about backing the 'wrong' leader.
What was really at stake?
Speed of innovation, a precedent for how the company would navigate emerging technologies, and the trust of key clients waiting for the next generation of products.
Last week, I spoke with Business Insider about navigating conflict with your boss. Since then, I haven’t stopped thinking:
When leaders fight, everyone feels it.
Disagreement Doesn’t Sink Teams — Leaders Who Dodge It Do
Not all leadership conflict is bad. In fact, it often shows up because you have a high-performing culture— one where strong perspectives are encouraged. Tension sharpens strategy and exposes blind spots.
But conflict doesn’t have to mean combat.
When it goes unspoken or spills downward, even the strongest cultures start to quietly unravel.
You might not hear it directly - but you’ll see it:
Decisions stall
Teams get mixed signals
People hesitate, waiting for “clarity from the top”
In the case above, both execs had valid perspectives but hadn’t aligned before communicating with their teams. That hesitation trickled down and froze progress.
Here’s the truth:
Your conflict is never just yours. It’s organizational. Cultural. Contagious.
How Conflict Feels - Even When No One Says a Word
As a senior leader, you already know:
Tension at the top rarely explodes. It seeps.
You’ve seen it (most likely lived it):
Conflicting direction from decision-makers
Strategic indecision
Meetings where everyone’s careful — and no one names the elephant
You might think it’s staying at your level.
It’s not. Your team already feels it.
And they wonder:
Who’s really in charge? Should I wait? What if I back the wrong leader?
That hesitation spreads. Productivity dips. Psychological safety erodes.
Smart people disengage — not out of apathy, but because the signals from leadership feel too risky to trust.
Don’t Wait for the Storm - Establish the Rules Before It Hits
One of the smartest moves a senior team can make?
Agree in advance on how you’ll handle conflict.
I call this a pre-agreement — simple, high-trust norms that keep disagreement from becoming dysfunction.
Most teams don’t do this — not because they don’t care, but because it doesn’t feel urgent. But by the time it does, it’s often too late.
A few examples I help clients build:
Debate in private, commit in public
Speak directly — not through our teams
Assume positive intent and have the hard conversations
Never put our people in the middle
It’s not about avoiding conflict. It’s about protecting the business — and modeling the leadership your culture deserves.
What Happens in the C-Suite Doesn’t Stay There
Whatever behavior you normalize — avoidance, triangulation, passive-aggression — echoes down the ladder.
But the reverse is true too.
Handle disagreement with clarity and respect, and you give your people a model for healthy conflict.
People follow leaders — not titles.
One of the most damaging patterns I see?
Executives unintentionally pulling others into the middle of their battle.
It might sound like:
“What do you think of their call?”
Venting to a direct report instead of addressing a peer
Undermining a decision after it’s made
Even if well-intentioned, these behaviors break trust.
Your people didn’t sign up to referee.
And when direction shifts after debate? Own it together.
"We debated this hard. Here’s what we decided — and why it matters."
That kind of transparency builds maturity and confidence.
Leadership Means Going First.
You won’t eliminate conflict. You shouldn’t.
But senior leaders must know how to navigate it — because it either sharpens your culture or shatters it.
Ask yourself:
Have we named the real issue?
Are we solving for the business — or protecting egos?
Are we modeling trust — or performing it?
Have we aligned privately — or just pretending in public?
If the answers aren’t clear, it’s time to pause and realign.
For the CTO and CRO, that shift made all the difference.
They clarified their visions, set boundaries, and defined handoff points.
Then they reintroduced the strategy together, with joint ownership, shared communication, and regular check-ins.
What had been a battleground became a collaboration.
Not because the tension disappeared, but because they channeled it with purpose.
Your people are watching. Show them what strong leadership looks like.